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..-..Kayla & Kevin..-.. o5*2o*o4 [entries|friends|calendar] °DêPrîé§t§_°PrîñÇ맧 [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ] I Need All The Help I Can Get [07 Oct 2005|10:47pm] [ mood | depressed ] [ music | simple plan ] who ever said that people didn't make me do the things i did/do are wrong! there is this thing called peer pressure...and anything that ppl have wanted me to do i have done it because i thought it would make them like me better. i drink, party, smoke pot, snort pills, just anything they wanted me to and because of that i have turned the way that i am. i can't say that i haven't enjoyed it because sometimes some of it was fun...until you wake up the next morning throwin up, and your head is hurtin, and you can't remember what you done the night before, or who you done or if they wore a condom....but my junior/senior year i want it to be different...but i dont think it can be. i feel out of place when i talk to the people i used to...i dont know how to act. and before all of this stuff i used to make good grades and looked nice for school and know i could care less...that is what all of this has done to me...people out there who say only i am in control of my life is right...but i guess they just dont understand the peer pressure...and if they knew how my family is...they just dont understand....i need help! ya know sometimes i just think about killing myself because then all of the troubles will be over...but something keeps me from doing it and i'm not sure what it is. i want to be who i used to be! 9 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

...sheww.... [30 Sep 2005|04:33pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | skater boi ] this is to the comment that said just a thought...i know all of that stuff you, who ever you are, said is true. but about me havin everything i used to have i dont think i can. i would have to get away from kevin and i dont think i can do that. if i could i would go back and change it all but i cant so therefor i have to get put through all the crap i get put through. and i'm sure everyone has seen the stuff wrote about me in the bathrooms...i wish i could change it all but i cant. i have to choices, either stop doin the stuff i do, which means i have to get away from kevin and make all new friends and i dont think i could do that, well not make new friends any way. or keep doin the stuff i do and keep gettin talked about. well i dont really see a reason for changing now that me rep. is killed...and if i did try to change i would need a lot of help, and the friends i have right now wouldn't try to help me change, they would just tell me not to care what ppl think..so...but if i could change and go back to the way i used to be...i would in a heartbeat, but it's not that easy...i will admit it...i need help...really bad, b4 i end up worse than what i already am...i just wish i had some real true friends that would help me...but i dont...cuz all of my "friends" are the ones have turned me this way...i need some good friends! 23 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

Just Thinkin.... [20 Sep 2005|07:19pm] [ mood | hopeful ] [ music | watchin tv... ] Well i can just imagine what kind of comments i'll get from this entry, but oh well, i'm prepared for them. well first off i want to start by sayin that it was real immature of me to say the things that i did. i want to say that i am really sorry about sayin that stuff about the cheerleaders. i was talkin to one of my friends and she made me relize that at one time they were my friends and just because we dont talk now doesn't mean that i have to be mean, or assume things like that they dont like me(even tho i still think they dont). -Kasi, i would like to say that i am very sorry about what i said. and now that i look back it did mean something to me that you would write me a comment like you did even tho i said that i didn't like you. and i had a lil talk with that other chick that wrote somethin immature back. -Kare, i never hated you, you know that! i got your back no matter what! be careful with skirts! lol -Danielle, you are one of the cheerleaders that actually talked to me still after you made it...i'm sorry bout what i said. -Dez, i'm sorry that i said that b/c you always say hey to me in the hallways, at least you make an effort -Dee, i never never never could hate you or have anything against you, and i always have had & always will have your back! -Kendra, last, but certanily not least, i can not say sorry enough! i know we already talked about it in class one day but ya know it just hurt me that we used to be so close and now it's like we dont even know each other! i am sorry -to all the other cheerleaders(tosh,tish,brittany,jessica,catherine,jamie & allie*) i dont even know you all that well and i judged you, i'm sorry. to all the ones i said sorry to...if you ever need someone's butt kicked come and see me...i can do it and not have to worry bout gettin kick off a team or anything! i so have ya'lls back! that is everyone that i wanted to say sorry to...i know i left out lyndzy* but i dont care...that is one cheerleader that i can really say that i DONT like...sorry! 1 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

...nothin really...... [28 Aug 2005|07:05pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | helana-my chemical romance ] wow since last time not much has happened! i guess ppl started to feel bad about the stuff they were writin...i dont really care! so any way jordan left today for iraq that really sucks! so any way me and kevin aren't suppossed to be seein each other right now...but we do any way...so i really dont have anything to write about...geeez that is not like me...guss my life is to boring...whoever was writin the comments on my journal...they were funny! lol! thanx! 1 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

... [23 Aug 2005|05:15pm] [ mood | blah ] i'm tired of this crap..like i said we all make mistakes! and yea i have made a lot in the past! and also i know that i am only like 94 lbs but i have an eating disorder ok, but none of you understand that! my gosh...all i do is make a lil comment that i dont like someone and then everyone acts like it's against the law! and yea i know that i used to be like kendra and all the rest and talk about people and stuff but what gets on my nearves the most is that they walk right by the people that they used to be friends with and act like they aren't even there...i'm not sayin they have to stop and have a long deep converstation with me but i think it's just retarted that they act that way! 3 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

i dont need you all! [21 Aug 2005|03:48pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | let me go ] well like i said b/4 if any of you all was talked about the way i was/am you would feel the same way. yea i know i've made mistakes but who doesn't? but the thing is other ppl act like they dont make them and because i go out and have fun with my friends...in other ways than what the "preps" do like going to parties i get talked about..well do you know what i say screw it all..i dont care that you ppl call me a skank or a whore...go right on and do that...but if you have anything to say you should say it to my face since all of you aren't scared, and i'll talk to kendra the next time i see her...so whatever! oh yea and i noticed that no one said they wasn't jealous of what i have! and someone said how do i know that they are backstabbers if they dont talk to me...well like i said b/4 i used to be friends with them and that is all they did was talk about each other! and you said i have a "badass" attitude but i'm not...i dont see you messing with me!?! 25 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

WTF?!? [15 Aug 2005|04:13pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | beautiful ] to all the fuckin comments...here i will say why i dont like her...maybe i'm the only one who sees it but i think that she acts fake and like she is better than everyone else...i mean she used to be so different...but i guess because of high school things changed. i mean if all of you that left me a comment knew how it was to be talked about like they talk about me...maybe you would understand! i'm not tryin to be all like "oh poor lil me everyone should feel sorry for me!" because i could care less! i have my friends and i dont need you! and about danielle i mean most of the time she is alright but just like everyone else she gets on my last fuckin nerve sometimes! and what the fuck!?! yea i sure am jealous that they made cheerleading! that was just fuckin stupid because if that was fuckin true i would hate all of them and if you didn't read the other entry's i dont! i dont have anything against dee or kara or kayla jackson or jamie or allie...and all of the seniors i dont really know so...but as for the rest...i just think they act...snobish...and about kendra's parents havin the money to buy her stuff...it's not like my parents dont have money either...but i have 6 other brothers and sisters now a niece and another brother on the way...so no i cant say mom take me shopping! mom give me some money...i have to do this thing called work to get my money...but of course most of "THEM" don't know how to do that! and ya know i could really care less if i get on anyones nerves at school because i dont need you fuckers! if ya'll knew me...you wouldn't think that! and i want to know what the hell i did to you! i mean what the fuck? i guess all those people that said they didn't like me..i guess i have something that they don't have like good friends or a good boyfriend..because it seems like all ya'll do is say OMG my b/f is so mean to me...or i wish i had a good boyfriend... but ya know i didn't want a bunch of shit to get started..i was just stating an opinon about how no one knows what it's like to be me...oh well fuck it! oh yea and who the hell said i dont have friends?!? just because they dont go to school doesn't mean i dont have any! i have better friends than you stupid fuckin backstabbin whores will ever have! 16 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

here... [13 Aug 2005|06:33pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | different stuff... ] welp i heard from someone that kendra miller now knows that i cant stand her...good! i dont really care if she knows...and i heard that she was wonderin why i cant stand her...well it's because i think she acts fake! she acts like she is all a goody goody and like she is better than everyone...well she's not! she acts like she doesn't buy anything from walmart and acts so fuckin stupid! i CAN NOT FUCKIN stand that BITCH!!!! and in my last entry i said that danielle was alright...well just read her journal and just because her lil boyfriend is grounded and one of her other friends has "left" her...she thinks she has no friends which all of us know that that is a lie! what the fuck! she knows that she has all kinds of stuck up bitch friends! i wish some one would kick their fuckin ass! welp today is my brothers birthday he is 19 today. jordan comes in today also. it makes me sad that he is goin to iraq in a couple of weeks...i cried about that today...one of my friends...goin to iraq! that's not right! but i guess you have to do what you have to do. me and kevin are doin great! almost 15 monthes! wow that is a long mother fuckin time! lol i love him so much! yesterday i saw oluchi... i haven't seen him in awhile! he is cool! welp i dont have much more to say so i guess i will bounce on out! 7 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

...more rambiling.... [07 Aug 2005|11:00pm] [ mood | annoyed ] [ music | behind these hazel eyes ] well from my last entry someone asked who i was talkin about...to narrow it down...i'm talkin about all the fake,stuck up bitches,that think they are better than anyone...mostly cheerleaders...i mean some of them are cool and ARENT a bitch like kara, dee, jamie, allie, and danielle...but the rest of them i think they are just fake! they are all like...OMG i love that skirt...NOT! and like haha i dont get it...but yet in the classroom they make good grades....something there doesn't add up! and there is one person that i just can NOT stand at ALL! her name is kendra miller and i could care less if she sees this! i dont care! she used to be cool but then came cheerleading...then she became a fake,stuck up bitch, who acts like she doesn't understand anything so she can get attention, and acts all like she hasn't "done" anything when i know for a fact that is a lie! and i'm just straight up sayin right now...this year i dont care anymore! if someone says something about me...i'm gonna kick their ass! so anyone who reads this better be tellin their friends if they dont want their ass beat..they better not say anything about me! i love kevin! fuck the stuck up bitches...they're forgettin...what goes around comes around! * Ki§§ Me *

Geezzzz!!! [27 Jul 2005|11:14pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | WELCOME TO MY LIFE ] welp long time since i've wrote! since last time i wrote my family me and kevin went to ohio for the fourth of july. we went to kings island and hung out with some of our friends up there. i've been workin for a lil over a month now. some of you peeps should come and see me sometime. wise hardees...everyone knows where that is right?!? ya know i really dont even see why i bother to even write on this because no one ever reads this! i mean like i have said so many times before i could say anything i wanted on here...i could tell secrets, call any one any name i wanted, or even say i was gonna kill myself and no one would know...that is pretty sad! i guess i dont have to many real friends...or maybe i have a lot of real friends but all of them are always at my brothers and jons house and they are to cheap to get the internet! lol! who knows...ya know...i would rather have a couple of really good friends that you can trust and talk to oppose to having a whole bunch of backstabbing bitches that will tell anything you tell them! but as long as i have the love of my life(kevin), a few guy friends(jon, my brother charles, chuck smith, brad, eric,and a few others),a friend that would beat anyones ass for me(mary ann) and a few good chick friends(nicole,mary ann,alainea,and leigha and even tho i dont talk to her a lot Rachel Kilgore) i am fine....yea i can live with havin a few peeps that i only talk to once in awhile..but all the other BACKSTABBING PREPPY STUCK UP THINK THEY ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE BITCHES i can live with out! all they do is talk about me anyway! i mean they used to be my friends...well i thought...they think they know me, but they DONT! if they even knew what it was like to be me...live in my shoes for one day...maybe then they would think before they said any thing..they would know what it was like to called a whore! but oh well...as long as i have a few ppl that love me! well right now i am just rambling on so i guess i'll bounce for now! P.S. FUCK YOU ALL YOU PREPPY DOOCHBAG WHORES! I KNOW YALL DO MORE THAN YOU LET ON!!!!!!YA KNOW...YA'LLS LIL "GROUP" AMUSES ME! 1 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

do this! [24 Jun 2005|01:36am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | girl fight ] hey all! do this for me! 1. Am I cute?: 2. Am I hot?: 3. Am I sweet?: 4. Am I crazy?: 5. Am I loveable?: 6. Am I funny?: 7. Am I annoying?: 8. Am I psycho?: 9. Am I daring?: 10.Am I a good person?: 11.Am I sexy?: *WOULD YOU...* 11. Hug me?: 12. Miss me if I was gone?: 13. Listen to my problems?: 14. Hug me if i cried?: 15. Be a good friend?: *WOULD YOU...* 16. Ever go out with me?: 17. If you already have would you do it again?: 18. Kiss me ?: 20. Marry me if you could?:(this?is a lil out there but oh well): *HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW ME?* 22. How old am I?: 23. What school do I go to?: 26. Who is my best friend?: 27. Who am I dating?: 28. Favorite animal?: 29. Favorite sport?: 30. Favorite TV show?: 31. Favorite song/songs?: 32. Favorite music group?: *IF YOU COULD* 34. Give me a new name, what would it be and why?: 35. Hook me up with someone, who would it be and why?: 36. Do one thing with me what would it be and why?: 37. Drop me one piece of advice, what would it be?: *JUST A FEW QUESTIONS* 38.What do you love about me?: 39. What do you hate about me?(honestly): 40. What is my best quality?: 41. If you could change one thing about me what would it be?: 1 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

V e R y B o R e D [23 Jun 2005|01:22am] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | watchin tv ] well i fell like writin...i guess because i have nothin better to do! right now it is 1:26 AM and i'm talkin to shasta and bobby and aaron on icq. nothin really excitin. me and kevin got back together today. i'm happy. but i knew when i started talkin to other guys that he would call me...and that is what he did. i had like 4 guys call me today and i was suppossed* to call one today at 5...but well...i didn't do that! lol i dont even know what all to write...i start work sunday at hardees if any one wants to come and see me! lol yea i know hardees...what a job...but it's money and i'll be able to get a car so i dont care! most ppl write like a flipin book when they update, but my life is boring and i never have anything to write about....i wish i had more to write about! why is my life so boring! ahhhhh! i need help! lol! or some friends with cars! lol well i'll have a car soon so maybe then it wont be so boring!?! this is prolly the longest entry i have wrote...it's sad because i'm just rambling on! lol so i guess i will go now and find something better to do like....well i dont know! 4 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

YAY [22 Jun 2005|12:23am] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | watchin mtv ] ok second time i've updated today but oh well! so i am really happy now b/c me and kevin are gettin back together! yay! i am sooooooo happy! yay! i am so happy i can't even type! so any way i just thought that i would inform everyone! yay! kayla and kevin...again! i love him! * Ki§§ Me *

Bummed [21 Jun 2005|03:12pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | behind these hazel eyes ] well some peeps know and some dont....me and kevin aren't together anymore! it really sux! see jordan told him some stuff that wasn't true and when he comes back here i will hurt him! what hurts me the most is that kevin was seein another chick while we were together and i saw them walk out of the school and his arm was around here. and that he believes jordan over me! that hurts too! i didn't eat or drink anything for 3 days. actually he says we are on a break but i know what that means! that is the samething i told jeremy dotson. hmmmm...wonder how he is these days?!? prolly with sarah and doin good...that is good! well i'm single and dont know what to do! i can do what i want but i'm not used to that! i got a job a hardees...peeps come and see me sometime! lol! if any one knows of any hot single guys send them my way! lol! i guess i'll go for now! 4 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

just another night [15 Jun 2005|11:52pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | we belong together ] well it's about 12:06 and i'm doin nothing at all! i have a job interview 2morrow at hardees...wha-who! what fun! so any way...i dont have to much to talk about. i stayed with leigha Saturday night and went to jons for a lil while. Sunday i went to my lil cousins first b-day at mcdonalds. Monday i went to leigha and jessicas softball game at appy...appy won! :( Tuesday i spent all day with Kevin here at my house. today i went to the tannin bed and did nothin else...i didn't even see kevin today! i didn't even talk to him! that makes me really sad! when i dont talk to him i get so sad! i am so happy that me and kevin are together! i know that we will be together forever! i cant wait until i get to live with him! i love him so much! i know i talk about him a lot but i cant help it! but any way i need to get some sleep for the interview! ttyl! 3 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

NoThInG [08 Jun 2005|01:52pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | watchin "meet the barkers" ] hey! well again i am writing because i have nothing better to do. Kevin called me today from Richmond..YAY! My brother and jon finally got there apartment...like any one cares! kevin comes home tomorrow so here in a lil while i am gonna go and take a shower and straighten my hair and go to the tannin bed. maybe here in a lil while i'll go and get in the pool...not sure yet. i am like so oober bored! i dont even know if i spelled that right! lol! i suck at spellin stuff! so any way i dont have much to say...so i guess i will go and take a shower and stuff! Kayla * Ki§§ Me *

¤HEY [06 Jun 2005|11:13pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Enter Sandman ] hey! well it's been a lil while since the last time that i updated but like every other time no one ever comments...nothin new! so school is out, and kevin is gone right now on a uth trip...he has only been gone for a day but i miss him so much...it seems like it's been monthes since i've seen him...i miss him sooooo much!!! so on a different note i am really board, i have nothing to do while kevin is gone...right now i am sittin here watchin friends and d/l some music...by the way does anyone now any good songs to d/l?? so...my life is so boring right now! i have nothing else to say now so i guess i'll go! ttyl! Kayla & Kevin 1 * ..--..Ki§§E§..--.. * ..--..Kayla & Kevin o5*2o*o4..--.. * Ki§§ Me *

¤HEY HEY HEY! [03 Jun 2005|12:02am] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | destiny playin mario ] So today was graduation...it was sad yet fun! i went to monterreys and ate for the first time! it was awesome i love it! it is my new favorite place to eat...yea! so i'm sittin with destiny talkin to some ppl on icq! wow i am really board right now! i have nothing to do...kevin is leavin on sunday and will be gone till thursday....on a youth mission trip...:( that makes me sad! really really sad! i dont know how i am gonna go with out him! i really love him a lot! i mean i thought that i had loved before with jon lawson but now i know that i wasn't even close! i have never felt this way before kevin! i would die with out him! i swear i really would! and next year and my senior year with out him! that is so so so so so so so sad! i will be there all day wondering what and where and who he is with! i wont know! but he will be wonderin what guys are talkin and flirtin and tryin to look up my skirt! lol! so any way it is about 1 o'clock in the AM and i'm gonna find something better to do! Kayla & Kevin * Ki§§ Me *

Hey [30 May 2005|05:20pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | New Found Glory ] Well...its been awhile just like every other time. school is almost out and well i'm pretty sad about that...because most of my friends are gonna be leaving me. only one i will still get to see is Kevin. Patrick, Tim, Cj, Jon, Jill, Eric Jay,...They will all be gone. i prolly wont see them to much after Thursday which makes me really sad! i mean there will be no more cj and tim goin down the halls goin "what the fuck?" and "aaaaa!" no more Patrick throwing himself down the stairs, and slidin down the hall or me seein a rescue squad and wondering if patrick is ok. no more me makin fun of eric in 3rd block or sayin he broke my toe, no more jon askin me where kevin is. no more jill quifing* on people because we think it is funny or talkin to her about people that really get on our nearves. no more fun times at jays. no more me watchin the guys play football at lunch. it just wont be the same. everyone will be goin their seperate ways after Thursday. yea sure i'll have destiny, tamra, leigha, and james but...like i said it just wont be the same. i've really had a great time my freshman and sophomore year with them. i will miss them soooooooo much! i'm just really upset right now! i guess with time i'll get used to it but it will take a while! well...i guess i dont have very much to say! so i'm out! Kayla * Ki§§ Me *

GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [17 May 2005|05:10pm] [ mood | bitchy ] [ music | Welcome to my life-simple plan ] OMG! some people i just really hate! does every one have people like that or is it just me? well i'm not gonna say any names or any thing but gosh! i'll tell you what they did tho and some of you that actually read this might know who i am talkin about. so first of all i dont see why ppl keep talkin about me and what happened at jays(the ones who were there or are friends with jay know what i am talkin about) and sayin that they hate me and sayin i'm quote "childish and a midget" if you ask me that is childish. ok and then there are the ppl who lie to me....that really ticks me off! if you dont want me mad at you dont lie to me. then there are the ppl who could get away with murder...that really ticks me off! and then there are the ppl who think they are better than every one....grrrr! 2 faced ppl they make me mad too! so any way i guess i'm done with that lil part! wow i dont know what to say now....i'm out! kayla * Ki§§ Me *

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